Here We Go...

Scruples. Catholic guilt. Religious OCD. Scrupulosity. Whatever the name, it is an ugly cross that can become a disease.

This is my story.

Hi. I am a young Catholic woman who struggles with scrupulosity. Diagnosed in 2018 with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, I found myself facing a disease that told me I was to be condemned to Hell on Earth, among other things. As I struggled, and still struggle, to overcome this illness, I found myself frustrated by a lack of resources. Don’t get me wrong- there are some and they are very helpful to many, including myself. More on those in the future. But I desired more. More from people who are sick themselves. The occasional lip service given to scrupulosity on sites like Blessed is She or The Catholic Woman wasn’t enough. The informational articles on Catholic news sites weren’t enough. I don’t know what I wanted to know exactly, but the one thing I did want- and still do- was to know I am not alone. Something we know in our heads, but is hard to experience concretely.

Enter me.

Haha not really. But kind of. I want this to be a place where those of you who are scrupulous can find solidarity and comfort. I want this to be a place where those of you who don’t suffer from scrupulosity can find insight and resources to better understand and help the people in your life that do. It means the world that you choose to spend some of your precious time here with me, and I pray that the Holy Spirit works in and through me in this new journey. I don’t want this space to be all scruples all the time, however. I want to share my journey as a scrupulous woman with you, and how that colors my view of the world and the Church. I want this to be a place where “my prayers, works, joys, and sufferings of this day” are shared with you, whether they involve my illness or not. But above all, I want this to be a space that gives glory to God rather than to myself, because it is in Him that we experience all that is good, true, and beautiful.

Now for some practical notes. I am just a laywoman sharing my experience and what has helped me. I am not a spiritual director, confessor, or theologian. I am not endowed with authority from the Magisterium. I am not a mental health professional in any way. I do not claim to be any of the things I just listed. I am just a laywoman. Very human and fallible. Not perfect by any means, and in no way an expert.

IF YOU NEED PROFESSIONAL HELP- SEEK IT OUT.

I hope that you all stick around for some stories, solidarity, and smiles as we begin this journey. I am praying for you all.

St. Therese, pray for us.